Wild Fires @ Tuesday, Oct. 28, 2003

This mess in San Diego is making me physically ill. Seriously. I'd love to know how Big and his family are doing.

Yes, I said "family" - as hard as it is for me to choke out that word.

I cried a little bit last night and violently shook my head when Annie asked if I wanted to watch the updates. I'd seen enough for the day.

I'm sure he's fine. Physically, that is.

Debbie doesn't quite understand why it upsets me. Just because he lied to me and ruined a considerable part of my current life doesn't mean I'll just stop caring about him all of the sudden. Of course I care about him and his well being. I still love him. I can't be with him but I can care about him. That doesn't just magically go away. I think I'd be less of a person if this didn't bother me. And hell, who would really wish a house fire on anyone?

It all just makes me sick.