What It Would Take For Emily to Get Tim @ Monday, Apr. 19, 2004

Men drive me crazy in both senses of the word; to madness and complete and utter frustration as well as to that blissful physically insane state.

As I was waiting for Debbie's ub�r late arrival on Saturday my cell rang - which is rare - and I was happy to see that Tim was calling. Tim never calls me anymore. If he does, it's to ask me how I am and chat aimlessly for a few minutes before he gets to his real point which is always work related.

This call was not work related. It had no purpose really which was even more odd. He was just waiting for the hockey game to roll around and wanted someone to chat with. Or so I thought.

We were still on the phone when Debbie rang the bell so I let her in and ended the conversation pretty quickly with a quick, "We'll probably be going out later. I'll call you when we figure out where we're going."

Well, after we stuffed ourselves at the Fish Market and perused Target for a few mintues, neither one of us really felt like hitting the town - a bottle of booze sounded better. So I turned on Fifth (rather ironic now that I think about it) and called Tim to find out where we could find the closest liquor store.

The conversation quickly turned to sex. Quickly. It went from joking about a threesome (which was a damned funny conversation) to him saying, after I had poo poo-ed the idea, "Well, I'll just get you off twice then. Would that make you happy?"

Hell yeah. I preceeded to explain that my recent crankiness probably stems from my complete and utter lack of sex. Especially good sex.

So the convo pretty much ended with we're Going to Have Sex - pick up a little extra Captain Morgan and I'll be over and all that.

Yaaay! Sex!

I called him about an hour later and asked him to pick up a bag of ice. When he got there he made us sing the first verse of "You Give Love a Bad Name" before handing it over which pretty much sums Tim up - both the title of the song and the fact that he made us perform before handing over our much needed ice. But, like little girls, we fell over giggling and sang the stupid song for him. Then we made more drinks and settled in.

I should mention, Tim never just comes over to someone's house. It's rare. It's rare for him to talk to much sex, as well. In fact, it's rare for Tim to be in such a friendly, chatty mood (why did I date the man in the first place?)Amber even backed up both of those points.

Oddly enough, Tim kept looking at his cell, checking the time and as I made Debbie and I yet another drink I overheard him saying that he'd have to go soon; he had to eat and take a shower. "It's eleven o'clock. Where the hell are you going?" He said he had "stuff" to do.

By stuff, we figured out, he meant his ex.

Between the sex conversation and his arrival she had obviously called - booty or no.

But before he left he did something that - later, when I was sober - really pissed me off. We called Debbie's husband because Tim swears that every guy has done those crazy Beavis and Butthead things like lighting the spray from a aerosol can and playing frog baseball. Debbie disagreed (she was right, Leo said he spend much of his childhood watching CNN - he's weird). Anyway, Debbie was on the phone with Leo and Tim leans down, puts his cheek against mine and whispers, "But a man like that won't curl your toes, will he?"

Keep in mind, I slept with a Leo a few times before he and Debbie met. I think Tim knew that and I may have even remarked the sex was pretty mediocre. Maybe that's why he said it. Or maybe he was flaunting his sexual abilities which are pretty damned good - not the best I've ever had (Big), but good.

So even after saying that and getting me all flustered with his skin touching mine and his man smell, he left, breezily commenting that he'd call us later to see if we were still up.

Right.

As soon as he left Debbie stood up in her chair to make sure he was gone, and when he was, said, "I love that man. You could have him, you know. If you wanted him."

She loves him with me. Several other people have said that as well. They liked us together. When I finally confessed to my boss that we had "dated" briefly, she fell on the Loves It wagon as well and I was afraid she would be quick to push us together whenever she got the chance. She didn't but still casually mentions, "You never know what might happen in the future."

Anyway, for about another hour and a half Deb and I discussed What It Would Take For Emily to Get Tim.

Aloofness. That's what it would take. A lot of aloofness with a little neediness thrown in just when it's needed.

A lot of work is what it really boils down to. And I know I could have him. You can have anything you want if you work hard enough (with, perhaps, the exception of a married man with two kids who lives in another state) but is it worth all the work to win a forty year old man who - I found out by rereading past entries - doesn't want to have children?

Sure, he can be wonderful and he's delightfully attractive and attentive when he wants to be...but he lies, he's undependable....Or at least he was with me. Perhaps that's because I wasn't The Woman.

I don't know. I was aloof this morning but only because I woke up cranky again. I didn't mention that he never called. The old un-aloof me would have, though.

But I don't think it's worth it.

Suggestions?