Feelin' Lonesome @ Sunday, Nov. 30, 2003

Argh, argh, argh. Even I'm letting myself down now. I'm breaking plans with myself - how sad is that?

I went out shopping today for a bit - sick of spending the last two days in my apartment, alone - and then thought I'd take myself out for abeer and some wings at BW3's...but talked myself out of it at the last minute. Didn't feel like sitting alone, smoking and drinking and playing trivia. I called New Guy because I was in his part of town but got no answer (and of course didn't call his cell for various, stupid reasons) then called Joe just to see how he was doing and he was doing Great. Out running around with friends. In fact, he was at a bar that I was driving by as we were on the phone. I mentioned that but got no invite which is understandable since he was out with friends but that doesn't make it hurt any less.

People, as a whole, are unreliable. I moved up here and, just as I thought, I was abandoned by everyone who was so hot to have me here. I spend too much time at home alone.

Partly my fault, I understand because I'm not forcing myself to go out and meet people but it would be nice to have someone to go out and meet people with.

I did a good thing today, though. I cleaned off/rearranged my fridge door. It's kind of like my blank canvas...always covered with photos, pictures, cards and other unrelated junk. And my message board which for the past three or four months has had, "Love Ya! B" scribbled on it. No more. I finallyerased it today. And I really am going to clean my boots with his toothbrush...some day.

Anyway, tomorrow's another day. We have an event which will end with drinks and video games around three-thirty...something to look forward to.