The First Weekend @ Sunday, Oct. 12, 2003

Ah, my first weekend as a Columbus resident. Friday night I went out with a few of my coworkers...I forgot what it was like to be the only girl in a group of guys friends. Nice. Just the right amount of attention and drinks to keep me from tipping over the edge and into depression. I wasn't going to go and was actually cleaning my bathroom when Wes called.

"I just talked to Tim," he said, "He'll be there."

And I changed my mind just like that. Jumped in the shower and was out the door. I remember a time when I went out to karoake even though I was tired just because he was going to be there. Later I found out he only went because I was going to be there. Those days are gone but I hope to get them back someday.

He was wearing a funny shirt...funny for Ohio, that is. A black cowboy shirt with a faux snakeskin design. It may have worked well in a big city with a real club. Not a hole in the wall bar with a bunch of Columbus college kids. But he pointed out several times that we matched. And we kinda did.

He left early, before they all went to the next bar, and I decided to as well. I wasn't sure where they were going and had so much to do the next day that I really didn't want to end up drunk and passed out on someone's couch. We'll save that for another weekend.

I got in the car and heard "Blackbird" twice...once by the Beatles and then, because it's a cover weekend, by Crosby, Stills and Nash. I cried the whole mile home and called Tim to let him know that I didn't leave just because he did. He called me a stupid girl, basically, and I got pissed off and upset and nearly cried. I confessed that I feel a good part of why I left was because I needed to get away from All Things Big. I ran away in a sense. He didn't have much to say to that.

I slept in Sunday and felt the Homesickness Monster getting bigger and bigger. I talked to my mom who really only made it worse...she told me to look for a job in Dayton and move back in a year. "Why does it always come back to my job?!" I yelled. I've been here for a few days...of course I'm homesick. Doesn't mean I'll feel this same way in a month or more. I needed comfort not a quick solution. She called me back to apologize which nearly never happens.

Then I called Debbie to let her now I wasn't coming to Dayton. It's my first weekend...I didn't want to rush back. I've made that drive so often in the past few weeks. Everyone was getting together but it's not like they won't all get together again. She was disappointed but understanding.

Then I walked up to the Market, shopped, and bought a sandwich to eat outside. Then I walked around Short North and explored until I felt better. It's wonderful living just a few blocks from coffee shops, antique stores and art galleries. And there's a gorgeous park between my apartment and Short North. I could really get used to that. Especially if I learn to like coffee or had someone to walk hand and hand with in the park.

Mom, Dad and my brother, Andy, came over today to help hang pictures and decorate. I have no sense for that and would rather leave the apartment to have it all done for me when I get back but I'm really happy with the results. My kitchen is gorgeous and I look forward to to entertaining and perhaps cooking a meal for someone there.

I need a man in my life. I can't help it.

I especially need a man in my life now, here in this new place.

Then we went to Barley's and I had another one of those fantasitc gyros....

Tim didn't call all weekend. And he blamed the fact that he hadn't called any other night to come over and hook up my stereo and such on the fact that I hadn't written my number down for him and he hadn't stored it when I called. Whatever. It pisses me off - the way he treated me when I was staying with him, treating me like his girlfriend and then forgetting about me the minute I'm not sleeping, untouched, in his bed. Men. I want one but they suck.

Perhaps Joe will want to come over for beer or something one night this week. If not, we've already talked about going to Scully's for 80's Night on Thursday.

I like Tim more but there was a time when I had a crush on Joe, pre-Tim and he had a crush on me...perhaps there will be time for that now. He's a much better man than Tim. His biological clock is ticking and he's told me so. Tim...he'll never get married or have children. He told me so.

Anyway, I'm going to go unpack my martini glasses then sit down on my couch and watch a movie or something.

Because I can.