Dealing @ Monday, Oct. 13, 2003

I have to find a new radio station to have the stereo tuned to in the apartment. I've heard too much from that American Idol chick, Hilary Duff and "Shake Your Tailfeather."

I need to run out to the grocery store but I got a good parking spot and don't want to give it up. That's sad. Ah, I'll do all my errand running after work tomorrow. I'm bored, though, and should go do something but I like it here in my little space and am somewhat afraid to venture out. I should at least unpack a last box or two but I'm all unpacked out. A drink sounds good but it's a Monday and I hate to drink on a Monday. It throws off my whole week. Tuesday then feels like it should be Thursday or Friday....

At least I now have cable! Yaay! Of course, they told me he would be here between three and five and he who didn't have a very good grasp of the English language showed up at 4:50. But now I can watch TLC while lounging on my couch and that makes me happy.

Debbie is coming to visit on the 25th. Something to look forward to. I have to go back to Dayton sometime between now and then, though, as I completely forgot to get my pots and pans from the drawer beneath the stove. Kinda cuts down on my ability to cook anything. Nothing has been exactly easy. My voicemail has been fucked up for days. Hopefully they'll get it all straightened out tonight. As if anyone has called to leave me a message....

That's a sore point with me right now. So sore that I push the thought away immediately. I keep thinking that I should have pushed whatever with Tim while we were staying together. He's so much of a gentleman and as I've said, I'm shy. I miss kisses and wonder when I'll do that with someone again. Sure, it's exciting as well. Will it be someone I already know? And, knowing my track record, will I be sober and remember it the next day?

I want someone to take me out to dinner at some funky cafe - a little place I never would ahve found on my own - then out for a drink or two. I want him to look at me with...well, you know, that look until I ask, "What?" with a laugh. And as we walk from the cafe to the bar perhaps he'd take my hand. I want to like someone again. I want someone to look forward to. Someone to send me an afternoon e-mail asking, "How's your day going" and someone to call at night.

Give it time, Emily Girl.

I didn't speak to Tim - the current closest thing I have to a relationghip right now which is pretty damned far from anything a normal person would call a relationship - at all today. Well, a quick goodbye have a nice day as he left to ride with a potential district sales manager (who I hope they don't hire as he has NO personality - I see him barking orders a la Sgt. Carter). He dropped by my desk after the Monday morning meeting, obviously either wanting to chat or to ask me about this project of his I've been working on (probably the latter) but I was on the phone so we merely swapped index finger waves. Index Finger Waves. That's one of Our Things. I left him a message before I left, letting him know that the project was done and in his mailbox and if he had any questions I'd be at home. And I left my number. I should have written it down so he can't use the sorry ass excuse of "I don't have your number."

Girls think about things too much.

The people upstairs are seriously elephants.