Breakdown @ Wednesday, Oct. 29, 2003

I understand why people do things to themselves. I could never hurt myself but I understand it.

And I'm so tired of people here asking me if I'm okay. There's something about me, an Ally McBeal thing a guy told me once, that makes people - men especially - want to take care of me. Like I'm frail. My female boss won't even let me life heavy boxes....

I'm so fucked up right now I'm in tears at my desk and have visions of my running half naked into oncoming traffic.

I just wish all of these thoughts and memories would go away.

I wish I could let go.