A Kiss Off Letter @ Monday, May. 03, 2004

Dear David,

I'm surprised that a man of your 'intelligence' has yet to pick up the clues left behind by me, i.e. no response to your e-mails or phone calls for over a week. So, due to the pathetic nature of your last voice mail, I now feel obligated to respond in some form.

I have found one commonality in each of my eHarmony dates: they all ask for a second date while still on the first. This smacks of desperation and leaves the female cornered. Although cornered, I tried to make a smooth, pleasant getway. When I said, "Good luck in PA, good luck on your exams, have a nice weekend" I meant "Have a nice life, I never want to see you again." Had you looked closely, I was probably even inching away, desperate to reach my car. I have absolutely no interest in ever seeing you again. To tell you the truth, to show you the absolute depth of my commitment to the above fact, I've never been on a date where I actually contemplated sneaking out the back door.

Until I met you.

Also, as a side note for future reference, do not let the woman pay for anything consumed by you on the first date. While I did not want or expect you to pay for my drinks, I certainly did not want to pay for yours. This screams "loser" and your lame attempt to go for your wallet was not appreciated.

Sincerely,

Emily

Okay, that's the e-mail I would like to send the loser. The real thing, which, unfortunately, has to be sent due to his numerous voice mails and e-mails, will probably say something more like:

David,

I appreciate your phone calls and emails but, at this point, I'm not interested in pursuing this relationship any further. I'm sorry if I led you on by agreeing to see you again but I felt a bit uncomfortable by the fact that you asked to see me again before our first meeting had actually ended. Once again, I apologize.

Take care,

Emily

I wish the guy would just leave me the hell alone but you should hear his voice mails....