Last Word on This Subject @ Friday, Feb. 20, 2004

I promise this will be the last time I mention this subject. It's a complete waste of my time but I'm a Last Word Kind of Gal and since the above mentioned person deletes notes that are the least bit negative - which all of mine have been as I try to defend myself - I feel I must at least briefly address my side of the story so that none of you actually think I am rude and dismissive or anything even remotely close to the following paragraph which is a direct quote:

"It never fails to amaze and appall me that girls can strike such self-righteous and faux-innocent poses when they're called to account for their behavior. A girl who promises to call and then blithely ignores the male sitting by a phone is no less a mere inconsiderate unmannered scrub than a male who'd do the same. They are *not* excused from a duty to apologize."

I did not apologize for several reasons. One, I never said, "I'll call you at nine-thirty on Saturday night." Yes, I said I would call but made no solid commitment. Second, I had had one phone conversation with this Diarylander who lives in a far away state - what commitment could I have made to this person? Sure, we had (key word there being "had") a great conversation but still...I felt no need to call and say, "I don't have the time to call."

Finally, after he didn't receive a phone call from me, this person e-mailed me several times. E-mails which I didn't receive until Monday because I was busy all weekend. These were pathetic e-mails and the quantity of them creeped me out. Due to this fact I didn't want to communicate further with this person. The e-mails did not stop. Any attempt to explain why I didn't call or was not going to call was ignored because this person ignores Bad News of any kind. I resorted to notes and they were also deleted.

Why should I apologize for someone else's unwanted advances? I don't understand. Do victims of molesters call their attacker to apologize for not making themselves more available for molestation? Granted, this analogy is a stretch but this man made me uncomfortable and I told him so. No apology is needed.

"Poor is the man who's pleasure depends on the permission of another." Madonna said that. The only thing I'm sorry for (and I'm not really) is that this man needed to sit by the phone and wait for my call like a junior high girl. He brought his current state of mind upon himself and I cannot make that clear enough. Sure, he may be lonely but thrusting himself upon someone - a practical stranger - does not solve the problem...it only proves why there was a problem to begin with. I also know I am not the only one to have experienced his unwanted advances and can only hope this is a warning to others.

If he were only pissed off that I didn't call, I wouldn't make it an issue but his blatant attacks and the e-mails that made me uncomfortable (and very happy that I live several states away to tell you the truth) made me feel that something needed to be said.

I have already spent too much time on this person. If I'm a scrub, fine. That's it. I'm done.