Lack of Support When I Need It @ Sunday, Sept. 21, 2003

I am so overwhelmed.

Moving hurts.

And my best friend - one of the reasons I really don't want to move - is giving me a bit of the Cold Shoulder. I was supposed to go to Oktoberfest yesterday afternoon but couldn't make it. I just had too much to do. So I called and left a message Friday night telling her so and asked that she call because I might be able to meet them out for a drink later on...she never called. I called her Saturday morning, just moments before I knew they were leaving for Oktoberfest. We talked for a few minutes and I didn't even mention my message. She told me that she had some boxes in the basement if I needed them and basically told me to have a nice weekend. It wasn't quite that harsh but still hurt.

Once I really started packing I realized I needed smaller boxes. The ones I have are HUGE. So I left another message, knowing that they wouldn't be out too late since they got an early start and asked if I could pick some up Sunday. No call. So I guess I'll go to work here shortly, look for some more apartments, and call her again.

I know she's upset but I'll only be an hour and half away. If anything, we might see each other more often. Debbie/Emily time has really become rare since she got married almost a year ago. Now she can come up, hang out, crash at my new bachelorette pad, go shopping at the super cool malls...it's an opportunity for her as well. And I can always - and will - come back to Dayton to visit. Like I said, it's only an hour and a half away.

I really had no choice but to move (I typed "love" at first - Freudian slip?). Once it was decided that I was going to Columbus, they didn't even build me a cube in the new Dayton office. I don't know what would have happened if I'd been pregnant...I wouldn't have wanted to move but wouldn't really have a job. She needs to understand that this is a good move for me. I have exhausted Dayton and the opportunities it has for me - it's time to move on. I don't know what to do or say to make her understand that. Perhaps her first trip to Columbus will make it clearer.

I need support right now. I don't need my best friend to start pulling away from me. At the same time, I guess, I need to keep letting her know that she will always be my best friend. I was serious when I told her recently that she's the best thing to happen to me in a LONG time. Perhaps I'll take some time today to write her a really nice card telling her so.

Sigh, off to shower and then to work. Wish I could just twitch my nose and have everything packed!